News? What News?

I sprang to the rollocks and Jorrocks and me
And I galloped, you galloped, we galloped all three...
Not a word to each other; we kept changing place,
Neck to neck, back to front, ear to ear, face to face;
And we yelled once or twice, when we heard a clock chime,
'Would you kindly oblige us, Is that the right time?'
As I galloped, you galloped, we galloped, ye galloped they two have galloped; let us trot.

I unsaddled the saddle, unbuckled the bit,
Unshackled the bridle (the thing didn't fit)
And ungalloped, ungalloped, ungalloped,ungalloped a bit.
Then I cast off my bluff-coat, let my bowler hat fall,
Took off both my boots and my trousers and all -
Drank off my stirrup-cup, felt a bit tight,
And unbridled the saddle, it still wasn't right.

Then all I remember is, things reeling round
As I sat with my head 'twixt my ears on the ground -
For imagine my shame when they asked what I meant
And I had to confess that I'd been, gone and went
And forgotten the news I was bringing to Ghent,
Though I'd galloped and galloped and galloped and galloped and galloped
And galloped and galloped and galloped. (Had I not would I have been galloped?)


Sellars and Yeatman (truncated).
One nice thing about this parody is that the unfortunate rider has forgotten what the news was! He is as much in the dark as the reader is. Is that dramatic irony again..? We know there is no news being brought from Aix to Ghent but he doesn't..? More disconcerting, perhaps, is the point that the parody is as compelling as the original: it has all the poetic devices that the original has and makes equally good use of them - the only difference is in the semantics. I wouldn't mind betting that more people have this by heart than have the original....
I am endebted to Gregory Sankaran for pointing out an error in my transcription. He says: `` Are you sure it is "they too have galloped"? I bet it isn't: it's probably "they two have galloped", the point being that the verb is being ruthlessly declined and has now reached the third person dual, at which point it is clearly time to give up.''
Click here for next week's poem
Click here for last week's poem

Return to Thomas Forster's home page